Nutcrackers
by Kurai-onii
Summary: When Yugi, Marik, and Ryou receive nutcrackers as Christmas presents from Yugi's cousin everything changes. Their presents come to life, they get shrunken down, are forced to run around unfamiliar world and to top it all off they've got a creepy mouse out to marry them. Based off 'The Nutcracker'. Rated for yaoi, language, and a non-graphic rape scene. YxYY, RxB, MxM.
1. DMG

Kurai-onii: Okay new story. It's Yu-Gi-Oh of course…but guess what! I'm working on a Kuroshitsuji fic for my friend Crona-Baka!

Bakura: Finally a break.

Kurai-onii: Don't worry Kura that's just a one-shot while my Yu-Gi-Oh stories just keep going and going…

Ryou: While she explains how long her fics go for let's start the story. Kurai doesn't own anything.

I call the hikari Marik; I thought I'd say since it confuses some people.

-Start-

"Thanks for helping me set up decorations guys. I know you probably have somewhere to be, you know since its Christmas Eve and all." A small tri-haired boy smiled at his two friends as he hung the mistletoe.

"Oh don't worry Yugi." His white haired friend assured. "My father isn't coming home for Christmas this year."

"That sucks Ryou." The only tanned blonde headed boy, Marik, sighed. "All my family's in Egypt to."

"Still thanks I wanted to get some of these decorations hung up before my cousin gets here." Yugi smiled closing his wide amethyst eyes.

"Hey you never told us about your cousin Yugi." Marik complained. "I wanna know more about her!"

"Well she's-"

"YUGI!" A blonde girl with green eyes glomped Yugi and held him close.

"Here right now. Guys this is DMG don't ask what it stands for because I have no idea."

"Oh right you're Yugi's friends before I forget I have presents for you boys." She pulled a red box from behind her back. "I was going to save it for Christmas but I just can't wait to give it to you!"

"DMG you're here!" Solomon smiled striding over to the girl and pulling her into a hug. "Just in time to help me bake the cookies."

"Kay Uncle, see you later boys hope you like my gifts." With a small wink she hurried out of the room.

"That was nice of her to get us gifts to huh Ryou?" Marik questioned. "Hurry up and open it Yugi!"

Yugi slowly lifted the lid from the box as if he wasn't careful the whole thing would shatter. Inside were three nutcrackers and underneath them a slip of paper with each of their names.

The one that was labeled 'Yugi' was a tan man with spiked tri-colored hair; he wore a white shendyt (1), a black tunic, a purple cape, and a golden crown with an eye in the middle.

Ryou's was a tanned muscular man with short spiky white hair and a scar running down the right side of his face; he wore a purple shendyt, and no tunic, he did however wear a red cloak.

Marik's figure had spiked blonde hair and tanned skin much like the others; he wore a simple white shendyt with nothing to cover his muscular chest.

"Amazing." Ryou whispered pulling his nutcracker from the box.

"They kinda look like us." Yugi inquired.

"Yep it's pretty creepy." Marik replied picking up his gift by its wooden foot, but of course being Marik he just had to drop his new present on the floor. "Shit! Is anything broken?"

Yugi bent down and gently scooped up the blonde figure. "Looks like you broke his arm Marik."

"Damn it, damn it, damn it! Can you fix him Yugi?"

"I can try." Yugi sat on the couch and pulled a small ribbon from its place on the armrest. He gently wrapped the figure's arm creating a makeshift sling. "I can't really fix it but it'll be fine for a while."

"Leave it to Marik to break something as soon as he gets it." Ryou scoffed as Marik shot him a glare.

"Better watch it Ryou before I get pissed!"

Ryou rolled his eyes and sighed in annoyance. "Hey Yugi would you mind if I stayed the night tonight? I really don't want to be all alone on Christmas Eve or Christmas for that matter."

"Yeah me to! Ishizu's acting a bit bitchy lately and I feel it might be best to back away for a while."

"I guess you can, I mean I'm sure Grandpa wouldn't mind!" The two teens let out a small cheer; plopping down next to their small friend.

That's when all the trouble started for them.

-The end-

Kurai-onii: How was it? I kinda cut it off cause it's 6:00 in the morning.

Yami: Then don't write so damn late.

Yugi: (Sighs.) R&R please!


	2. Weird Night

Kurai-onii: Ok I'm freaking the fuck out right now!

Yugi: Why?

Kurai-onii: I just saw a let's play of the video game 'Slender' (Pants.) It's fucking freaky to me! I hate when things jump out at me!

Ryou: Ok just keep calm. Writing always seems to help you so I'll just do the disclaimer. Kurai doesn't own anything!

-Start-

The three teens had stayed up late watching old Christmas movies; Grandpa and DMG had long since gone to sleep.

"EEK!" Yugi squealed as a teal mouse ran across his foot.

"Relax Yugi it's just a rat." Malik reassured.

"Excuse me hottie but I'm a mouse." Three sets of eyes widened as the mouse looked up at them with one blue and one gold eye.

"Malik did that mouse just call you hot?" Ryou whispered.

"That's right honey…oh and by the way my name is Dartz."

"I'm dreaming right?" Yugi panicked.

"No dear, I'm your three's new husband."

"The fuck! As if mouse man!" Malik flicked Dartz in the nose making the small mouse fall back on his ass.

"It's because I'm small isn't it? Well I'll just bring you down to my height." Dartz raised his small paw a green mist coming from it and surrounding the boys.

They each shrunk slowly until they matched the height of the teal haired mouse that stood before them with a smirk that looked strange on his face.

"What did you do to us?" Yugi panicked .

"I made it easier to take you back to my palace."

"Back of Dartz!" A deep voice cut through the air they all looked towards the three nutcrackers that were now up and moving about. The one who had spoken was Yugi's nutcracker; he stepped forward and stood protectively in front of the short boy. "You can't just take what you desire!"

"Huh? That's strange Yami, you don't seem to mind when Bakura steals from people."

"That's different dumbass!" Ryou's nutcracker, also known as Bakura, complained.

"Hey! What the fuck happened to my arm! It's broken! WHAT THE FUCK! IS THIS HOW YOU TREAT GIFTS?"

"Oh stopping bitching Malik!"

"Both of you shut up!"

"STAY OUT OF THIS PHARAOH!"

"Um excuse me." Ryou tapped Bakura's wooden shoulder.

"WHAT?" Bakura snapped.

"There's a crazy mouse trying to marry me and my friends." Ryou scowled at Bakura's tone putting his hand on his hip.

"Oh right that…well boys let's kick our false king's ass." Each man pulled out their sword and aimed it towards the mouse.

"Um I would rather you not do that." Dartz pulled Marik to his chest and a claw to his throat. "Now if those two will follow quietly no one has to die today."

"Fuck that!" Marik brought his head back connecting with the mouse kings nose smirking with satisfaction at the crunch it made.

"This isn't over!" Dartz hissed as he vanished in a puff of green smoke.

"Good job!" Malik praised. "That bastard got what was coming to him."

"Problem." Yugi cut in.

"What's that?"

"WE'RE STILL SMALL!"

"That's gonna be a problem…" Yami trailed off. "I suppose you'll just have to come with us then. Maybe they can help save our kingdom."

"What do you mean?"

"Well you see Dartz took over our kingdom; I was the prince until he murdered my father, his brother, but not before he placed a curse on him that caused him to turn into a mouse. As payback he turned me and my two best friends into nutcrackers, which was fairly obvious."

"Well why does he want us to marry him?" Ryou questioned.

"I guess he wants a queen. It's not hard to figure out why he would choose you though." Bakura smirked looking Ryou up and down lingering in places that made Ryou blush.

"WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE PERVERTS?" Ryou whined pulling Marik and Yugi in front of him as human shields; Bakura pouted at the loss of eye candy.

"Hey you blondey what's your name?" Malik called.

"Marik…why?"

"So you're the bastard that broke my arm! Why the fuck would you do that? I was just minding my own business and you dropped me on the cold, hard floor…" Malik droned on and on as he bitched and complained about how foolish Marik was.

"So what's you name kitten?" Bakura purred pulling Ryou away from Yugi and towards him.

"U-um Ryou."

"Perfect name for such a perfect boy." Ryou squeaked as Bakura began happily molesting him.

Yami turned from the spectacle and smiled brightly at Yugi. "What's your name little one?"

"Yugi."

"Well you seem to be taking this rather well."

"I've seen weirder."

"Really?" Yugi giggled at Yami's bewildered face.

"Maybe not quite this weird but still pretty strange."

"Well I for one promise we'll get you and your friends back to normal as soon as possible."

And thus the adventure begins!

-The end-

Kurai-onii: Ok so it was a bit rushed. But in my defense, I twisted my ankle chasing after my moronic yami, I'm tired from not sleeping in two days, my fingers hurt from my guitar lesson, and my bro was being a little annoying today… like every other day. ~_~

Yami: (Facepalms.) Bitch, bitch, bitch that's all you do. Just like Malik in this fic.

Kurai-onii: Ever heard the song 'Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me'? You have to be bitchy and naughty before you can be sexy.

Bakura: (Groans.) Review so she can finish quicker!


	3. New Land

Kurai-onii: HURRAY FOR UPDATES!

Yami: (Groans.) You always come back.

Kurai-onii: Well there are actually a few people who like my story…

Ryou: Kurai doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

-Start-

"So…how are we gonna get big again?" Ryou questioned pushing Bakura away from him.

"We'll have to go after Dartz and get him to turn you guys back." Yami reassured. "Shouldn't be too hard right?"

"You're a terrible owner…" Malik droned on.

"Malik! Quit yelling at him, we got a problem here!" Bakura yelled smacking the back of Malik's head a hollow thunk echoing through the room. "Ha I knew your head was empty!"

"I'm made of wood dumbass."

"Um excuse me Yami?" Yugi said shyly.

"Yes aibou?"

Yugi blushed at the nickname. "You really want us to go after the guy who tried to kidnap us?"

"Um…I'm sure it'll be fine."

"You don't sound too convinced." Marik accused.

"Well it's not like I can see the future!"

"Fine there's no need to get defensive, one last question though. How are we gonna get there?"

"Easy." Yami insisted.

The tri-haired nutcracker led the way across the carpeted floor stopping in front of a small indent in the wall. He reached up to his neck and yanked off an upside down golden pyramid with an eye that matched his crown in the center.

"What good's a necklace gonna do us?" Marik questioned eyeing Yami skeptically.

"It's not a necklace it's a puzzle and its proof that I'm the true prince." Yami turned his attention back to the indent.

He pressed the puzzle into the surface of the wall; it slide in easily and was followed by a series of loud rumbling noises, with a creak the section of the wall swung open like a door revealing a dark tunnel. The three teens were left to stare with wide eyes at the spectacle before him.

"Woah." They whispered in awe.

"You're surprised when a wall opens but not when a mouse asks you to marry him or nutcrackers come to life?" Bakura questioned staring at the teens as if they were the ones made of wood.

"You're just not as interesting I suppose." Malik snickered nudging the white haired male.

"You guys need to shut the hell up." Yami hissed.

"Oh you wanna start something Pharaoh-boy?" Bakura taunted.

"That's right tomb-robber."

"If you morons are done we've got a mouse to catch." Yugi called, the three nutcrackers looked up to see their owners already hurrying down the tunnel.

"Hey wait up!"

They raced after their counterparts running as fast as they could, Yami grabbed ripped his puzzle from the wall as he ran past. When they caught up the others let them take the lead. So the wooden teens led the way down the damp tunnel, complaining about how they'll mold earning well-deserved 'shut ups' from the others. They all shielded their eyes as a blinding white light came from the end of the tunnel, the stepped through the entrance soft snow crunching under their feet.

"It's freezing!" Yugi whined rubbing his arms for warmth, his breath coming out in white puffs. He huddled closer to Ryou and Marik trying to use their body heat to stay warm, though they were as cold as he was.

"H-how are you so t-tan when it's s-so c-cold" Marik questioned his teeth chattering violently.

"It used to be a desert but Dartz liked the cold better." Malik hissed.

"He ruined our beautiful home." Yami said sadly. "That's why we need your help. So…will you help us get our kingdom back?"

Yugi pretended to ponder that for a moment before smiling kindly. "Well you are helping us get big again, and after what he did I think it would be fun to kick this guy's ass!"

"Oh, why are the innocent looking ones always the most violent?" Malik questioned mockingly.

"Cause we're badass." Ryou smirked, and Bakura licked his lips looking the small boy up and down yet again. "Will you stop checking me out?"

"When you stop being so fun to watch." Ryou rolled his eyes and turned his head away.

"Perverted bastard, stop hitting on the boy and let's get moving!" Yami snapped grabbing Yugi's hand unconsciously, dragging the blushing boy through the snow. The others trudged after them Ryou and Marik still shivering in the cold.

"Pharaoh-baka they're cold." Bakura said suddenly, he glanced at Ryou before pulling off his cloak and draping it over his shoulders.

"B-but w-won't you g-get cold?"

"I'm made of wood."

"Oh r-right."

"Well I can't let the tomb-robber outclass me so here's my cape aibou." Yami smirked detaching it and handing it to Yugi, who smiled gratefully.

"Malik looked at the shivering Marik before pouting. "I'd offer you something to cover up with if you hadn't dropped me on the floor."

"Oh let it go! Besides I'm wearing more clothes than you anyway." Marik noted noting the tomb-keeper's clothing or lack thereof.

"I'd let it go if my arm wasn't fucking broken!"

"Malik shut the fuck up. No one cares so stop with your bitchy attitude." Yami growled and Malik just crossed his arms, glaring angrily and mumbling incoherent insults. "Now that our Malik dilemma is over and done with let's discuss our plan of action."

Yugi pulled the cape closer to his small frame. "What did you have in mind?"

-End-

Kurai-onii: Done! So bitchy Malik, pervy Kura, sexy Yami, and damn my foot hurts.

Bakura: It's your own fault for putting that spray on your cut! Just because it smells good doesn't mean it's good for pain.

Yugi: Hope you enjoyed! Please review!


	4. Seto Kaiba

Kurai&Marik: (Runs into room and slams door shut.) HIDE US!

Yugi: What's wrong? What did you do?

Kurai-onii: Nothing… (Police sirens.)Oh shit Marik run! (Jumps out window with Marik.)

Ryou: Um…Kurai doesn't own anything…

-Start-

"Well I was thinking we'd see my cousin and get him to help." Yami beamed as if it was the best plan ever.

"You're forgetting something." Bakura rolled his eyes as Yami shot him a confused glance. "Seto's a prick! Why would he help us?"

"Come on Joey will be there to straighten him out."

"Um who are those people you're talking about?" Ryou questioned.

"Seto's my cousin and Joey's his-"

"Bitch." Malik finished smirking in satisfaction; Yami shot him a harsh glare and he sighed. "Fine girlfriend."

Yami shook his head before correcting Malik. "Joey is Seto's husband and Malik's an idiot."

"So how can he help us?" Yugi inquired pulling Yami's cape closer to his small frame.

"Seto's a high priest." The three teens stared strangely at Yami. "Dartz threatened to kill his little brother if he didn't work for him."

"This guy just keeps getting worse and worse." Marik growled.

"Yep he's awful; which is why we need to hurry and get to Seto so we can take the bastard out of power." Bakura tapped his foot in annoyance. "Let's move it."

"Fine let's go." Yami started off in the direction of Seto's home leaving the others to follow after him.

…

Joey sighed in boredom, his chin in his hand staring blankly at the wall in front of him. He'd been waiting for something exciting to happen since Seto had left for the palace earlier that day; the blonde had succumb to wishing someone would attack him just to have something to do.

A knock at the door brought him out of his own thoughts and he jumped at the chance for something to do. Joey stood from his spot on the couch and hurried over to the door; throwing it open and smiling goofily at the six boys that stood on the door step.

"Yami what're ya doin here?" The accented male asked.

"Hello Joey is Seto here?" Yami questioned pushing past the taller boy and into the house.

"No but he should be back soon." He turned and smiled at Yugi, Ryou, and Marik. "I've never seen you before…did you guys get boyfriends."

"NO!" The nutcrackers yelled together their eyes going wide.

"These are Yugi, Ryou, and Marik. They used to be bigger but Dartz turned them small so he could marry them." Malik said simply; flopping down on the couch. "So the brilliant pharaoh thought it'd be a good idea to get Seto to help."

"Seto? Why da ya think dat bastard will help ya?" Joey burst out in a fit of laughter. "You of all people should know that Yami!"

"I thought he was your husband." Yugi voiced what all three of the teens were thinking. "Why would you say those about him?"

"He is my husband and I love him, but that doesn't change da fact that he's an egotistical prick." Joey calmed his laughter and ushered everyone else in the house before pushing the door shut; a pale hand shot out and threw the door open again.

"Hello pup." The pale brunette, also known as Seto Kaiba, planted a chaste kiss on Joey's lips before he noticed his visitors. "What the fuck do you want?"

"Nice to see you to cousin, have you gotten paler?" Yami smirked up at the taller man.

"Why did you let them in mutt?"

"Because I was bored." Joey smiled kissing Seto's cheek earning another one of his lover's famous scowls. "Don't make that face at me; you never let me have any fun! So I found a way ta entertain myself and that's watching you get pissed."

Seto rolled his eyes and turned to glare at Yami. "Tell me what you need."

"You see these boys were shrunk down by Dartz and they need our help to get big again."

"They look normal size to me." Seto scoffed looking them up and down.

"Not where they come from." Bakura called trying to wake Malik up as he snored loudly on the couch.

"Well you morons are nutcrackers so I suppose it's not the weirdest thing that's ever happened. You still haven't told me what you want me to do about it." Seto crossed his arms, looking uninterested.

"We need you to get us into the palace."

"Excuse me? You want to take us to the guy who's out to marry us?" Marik questioned a look of bewilderment crossing his features.

"I told you to trust me, so be quiet!" Yami turned his attention back to Seto. "So are you gonna help us?"

"No…OW!" Seto yelped as Joey stomped on his foot. "If I say yes will you leave us alone?"

"Yep!"

"Then fine let's go!" He made for the door but Joey pulled him back. "What is it mutt?"

"It's too late for you to go now. You can go in the morning, as for you three come with me I'll show you where you can sleep. The rest of you have fun; you'll be sleeping out here tonight." Joey flashed a smile before pulling the teens out of the room leaving Seto and the nutcrackers alone.

"Damn it! You bastards just cost me a night of sex, and now I have to sleep on the couch."

"Just shut up and go to sleep." Malik mumbled pushing Bakura away.

Seto stomped over and pushed Malik to the floor before lying down on the couch. "You guys owe me."

-The end-

Yugi: I can't believe Kurai and Marik got arrested.

Yami: Is it really that surprising?

Bakura: Bitch had it coming.

Ryou: Please review while we try to bail the authoress out of prison…


	5. New Enemy?

Kurai-onii: (Staring at computer blankly unconsciously twirling scissors while singing in Finnish.)

Yami: What the hell are you watching? 10 hour leek spin… you've got be kidding me… SAY SOMETHING WOMAN!

Kurai-onii: Marik was a prison bitch…

Yugi: Um…ok…Kurai doesn't own anything.

-Start-

Joey smiled kindly making sure everyone (minus those made of wood) were properly bundled, even Seto who promptly refused to wear anything other than his gravity defying, white trench coat. Yugi wore a blue coat that was several sizes too big for him, a pair of wooly mittens and his bunny slippers, which had been soaked, were exchanged for a pair of boots. (A/N: In my world Yugi-Kun wears cute bunny slippers.)

Ryou wore a brown trench coat that fell around his knees, a pair of tennis shoes, and to top it all off a white scarf wrapped around his neck. Marik turned down the coat so he was, much to his distaste and his friends' amusement, forced into a pink turtleneck sweater covered in hearts that seemed to be stretching across his chest. The nutcrackers, being nutcrackers, didn't need anything though Bakura and Yami claimed the articles of clothing that had been offered up to their doppelgangers earlier.

"That's the most clothing I've ever seen you wear Marik." Ryou giggled muffling his laughter with a pale hand. "I don't think there's ever been a time that I've ever seen you without your midriff exposed, or in something so feminine."

"You look more like a girl than I do Ryou, you act like one to." Marik growled smirking to himself as Ryou shot him a warning glance.

"Stop it." Yugi scolded. "Ryou we can make fun of Marik later but now there is work to be done."

"Okay Yugi." Seto tapped his foot impatiently.

"As the shrimp said there we have work to do quit bickering and let's go." Seto said cooly, ignoring the death glare he received from Yugi who was rather pissed at the prospect of being called short.

Joey lightly tapped the taller brunette's shoulder. Seto turned and was attacked by a pair of lips that roughly pressed against his own, forgetting everyone else in the world for that moment he pulled his puppy closer and proceeded to explore the blonde's mouth with his tongue until someone cleared their throat rather loudly. Seto reluctantly pulled away and ruffled the Joey's hair.

"Be careful cause if ya get hurt I'll kick your ass." Joey stated pushing Seto nearer to the door. "Love ya."

Seto managed one of his rare smiles before pushing open the door, mouthing an 'I love you too' earning snickers from the wooden trio. "Let's go morons." He hissed his usual scowl settling back on his features. "Goodbye puppy."

"Bye Seto." Joey waved like an idiot from the porch while the seven boys made their way to the road. He continued waving until they were out of sight before sighing in content and making his way back into the house.

Pushing the front door front closed quietly he didn't even notice as a dark shadow was cast over him. The red haired male the shadow belonged wrapped his arms around Joey's throat cutting off his oxygen supply. The blonde male struggled viciously against his obviously stronger opponent; he resorted to throwing wild punches and thrashing his feet violently but he was no match and his struggles grew weaker and weaker the longer he went without air. Finally the blackness that had been edging its way into his vision overcame him and he slumped into the arms of his attacker.

"You shouldn't have betrayed Dartz Kaiba, though I will enjoy seeing you suffer." The male smirked down at Joey's unconscious face, wicked and horrible thoughts running through his mind. (A/N: Bonus points if you can figure out who he is!)

…

Seto led the way down the winding, snow covered road not bothering to care that the others were struggling to keep up. He'd be damned if he had to spend more time on this than absolutely necessary, and though his pride, and ego would never let him admit it he felt bad being away from Joey for too long.

"Wait up Kaiba!" Bakura called in annoyance his wooden feet hammering against the road as he ran to keep up with the speedy brunette. "You couldn't very well help us if you left us to get lost out the snow could you?"

"Walk faster and you won't have to worry about it." Seto called, he was if anything gaining speed as he hurried down the road.

"Slow down damn it!" Malik yelled. "If you let us get lost out here Joey'll probably be pissed!"

That did it. Seto slowed down to a speed walking pace allowing the others to catch up.

"You're really fast cousin." Yami panted heavily as he came up beside his cousin. "I'm out of breath, and I don't even have lungs!"

"I'm not fast you're just slow."

"Well we have some dead weight." Malik stated, jerking his thumb in the direction of Marik, Yugi, and Ryou. Though he was pointing at all of them it was fairly obvious to everyone who his insult was directed at.

Marik just scowled widening the already large space that separated him and the blonde psychopath. Ryou patted his shoulder and whispered something along the lines of 'At least he's not a pervert.' After which the fore mentioned pervert snaked his arm around the smaller teen's waist earning yet another 'eep' from the white-haired teen. Yami just shook his head and gently took Yugi's hand causing a small blush to wash over the boy's face.

They carried on in peaceful silence for a while before the shrill screech of a girl filled the air. The all whipped their heads around just in time to see a tall, muscular blonde man drive a sword through the child's stomach while his brown headed partner smirked in satisfaction at the terrible shrieks she made.

"Such a wonderful sound." The brunette smiled, his eyes closing in content as the girls dying screams filled his ears. "Wouldn't you agree…Prince Yami?"

-CLIFF HANGER!-

Kurai-onii: (Still staring at screen.)

Bakura: You've been watching that for three hours, turn it off!

Ryou: We hope you enjoyed! Please review, they really help!


	6. Fight Scenes!

Kurai-onii: (Singing loituma polka.)

Bakura: TURN THE DAMN THING OFF!

Kurai-onii: NEVER! (Grabs computer and jumps out window.)

Ryou: Good job 'Kura you made her run away again. Now go catch her before she gets hurt or someone else does.

-Hurray for loving Finnish polkas!-

"Valon." Yami hissed, glaring daggers at the brunette.

"You don't sound excited to see me." Valon pouted. "I'm hurt mate."

"Cut the crap and tell us what you want." Malik hissed.

"We're here to pick up your new friends for master Dartz." It was the blonde man who spoke this time.

"Raphael, how many times do I have to tell you? It's not fun if you're blunt." (A/N: Sorry if they're OOC! I didn't like their characters very much so I didn't take time learn their personalities, stupid I know -_-.)

Raphael just rolled his eyes before tearing his sword from the child's stomach. "Let's just get this over with."

"Fine, move it blockheads we've got work to do." Instead of listening they all took protective stances in front of Yugi, Ryou, and Marik.

Seto stepped forward and pulled his sword from its sheath, putting the sharp blade at Valon's throat, he was taken aback when the shorter brunette started laughing. "I wouldn't do that. That is if you value your lover's well-being."

"What are you talking about?" Seto's eyes narrowed dangerously at the mention of Joey.

"You didn't hear? Alister and Joey are catching up back at the palace." The sword dug deeper into his chin eliciting a small groan of pain.

"If you hurt him I swear I'll-"

"You'll what?" Valon smirked and pushed the blade away; rubbing his neck that now had a small trickle of blood running down it. "Well that was rude."

Seto let out a growl, but stepped back nonetheless. "First my brother and now my husband, and just when I thought you couldn't stoop any lower."

"Yeah, yeah just step aside." He pushed past Seto and stopped in front of the nutcrackers. "Move it."

"Like hell!" Bakura hissed, pushing Ryou farther behind him.

"I really didn't want to waste time but I guess if we must, Raphael get them."

Raphael charged at Yami lifting his bloodied sword above his head. Before the prince had time to react the sword sliced into his stomach and he was forced into the snow drift that had settled on the side of the road. Yugi gasped as he was pulled against a strong chest with a dagger held at his throat, he glanced back with wide purple eyes at Valon who had snuck up behind them in the confusion.

"Hey let him go!" Marik yelled, his voice trembling with anger.

"I'd like to see you try and make me." Valon let out a mocking laugh tightening his vice-like grip on Yugi's shoulders.

As that went on Raphael turned to Bakura and Malik who were watching the brunette with anger burning in their eyes, looking like a cat preparing to pounce. "You've got bigger things to worry about then your boy toys; you might want to help your prince." Their eyes widened in realization turning their attention to the fallen prince.

Yami was buried head first in the snow; his legs flailing wildly as he desperately struggled to free himself. Bakura grabbed his foot and gave a hard tug nearly snapping it off, after that failure him and Malik continued pulling at his legs.

"Dammit Pharaoh you're really stuck!" Bakura exclaimed.

Malik yelped and fell back as Raphael swung where he had previously been standing, the man raised his hand to strike again but Seto leapt into action clashing swords with the blonde.

"Thanks Seto!" Malik cheered.

"Save your praises and get the moron out of the snow."

"Right." Malik's eyes lit up with excitement as an idea came to him. "I've got an idea Bakura it's a lot of fun. Just keep hold on his legs." He hurried around and buried his tan hands into the snow searching for Yami's spiky hair, when he finally got a hold of the gravity defying locks he gave one final tug pulling the teen out of the snow. He gave a large laugh of triumph and turned to his so called 'friends'.

Bakura was sprawled out on the ground with Yami laying on top of him in a very suggestive fashion. "Hey if you two are done messing around we've got bastards to fight."

Bakura glared at the blonde angrily. "You said it would be fun."

"Yeah for me."

"You little-"

"Help!" They whirled around to see Yugi with a knife pressed against his throat while Ryou tried to hold Marik back.

"Stop Marik someone will get hurt." Ryou reasoned.

"You should listen to the little lady." Ryou froze.

"Little lady?" His eyes narrowed dangerously. "I. Am. Not. A. Girl."

"Could've fooled me."

That did it; Ryou pushed Marik away, lunged at Valon and tackled him to the ground, using his own dagger against him. "No one calls me a girl and gets away with it."

"Holy shit the British boy's kicking ass." Malik yelled excitedly.

It was at this time that Seto overpowered Raphael hitting him over the head with the hilt of the sword. "Defeated by a weak little boy Valon. Isn't that kind of degrading?" Valon shot him a glare. "Now come get your partner and get out of my sight."

Marik pried Ryou off him and held him back as the brown headed male made his way over to Seto and gripped Raphael's shirt dragging him behind. "For that I'll make sure you never see Joey again." And then they were gone, disappearing into the blizzard.

"I-I'm sorry Seto I didn't mean-" Seto cut his cousin off with a glance.

"Don't worry, knowing Dartz it probably would have happened eventually. The sooner we go the sooner we can save Joey so let's get moving." He set off down the road again with the others in tow.

Bakura turned to Ryou happily. "Who would have thought such an innocent looking boy could be that vicious?"

"I did!" Marik called. "I thought he was a girl when I first met him. I'll never make that mistake again."

"Shut up and move!" Seto snapped.

-The end-

Yugi: No more leek spin Kurai. Got it?

Kurai-onii: Yep! I'm more into PewDiePie right now! I think I felt my heart stop three times while watching his videos!

Yami: Wonderful, then why don't you go watch it in the dark or something?

Kurai-onii: I can't watch the shit in the dark! I'll die! Um, anyway please review!


	7. Dark Chapter Kiddies!

Kurai-onii: (Yawns.) I'm so tired! I didn't sleep at all last night. My friends and I were skypeing with Vivi-Chan's British friend.

Bakura: It's not like you ever sleep anyway! You stay up until 7 am and sleep for the rest of the day.

Kurai-onii: Well, I do all my shit at night. Yugi do the disclaimer for me please.

Yugi: Kurai doesn't own Yu-Gi-Oh or any of its characters, only her strange sense of humor.

-Start-

Dartz's small paws clutched the arms of his throne tightly. Valon and Raphael bowed before him, they had just finished explaining to their king about their failure to obtain his 'brides' and frankly he was pissed.

"So you mean to tell me, that you lost a fight to three logs of firewood and a group of weak teenage boys?"

"Well Seto Kaiba was there to!" Valon yelled out in his defense. "And I wouldn't call them weak, that white-haired one nearly clawed my throat out."

"So Kaiba did betray me huh? That won't bode well for poor Joey, Alister!"

"Yes master." The red head replied quickly.

"Go torture that boy in any way you see fit, don't kill him though. Just do something that'll damage him emotionally and perhaps somewhat physically, do you understand?"

"Yes my king." Alister smirked at the prospect of playing with Seto's puppy. "I'll make Kaiba and him both regret ever going against you." And with that he ran off in direction of the dungeon where the blonde was being kept. (A/N: Sorry guys but Joey's getting butt fucked…. don't kill me please!)

"As for you two." He turned his attention back to the two men cowering on the ground at his feet. "Give me one good reason why I shouldn't have you killed where you stand."

"Please master! Just give us one last chance, we'll bring you the boys and we'll murder that has been prince and his moronic friends." Raphael called trying his hardest to keep his hardened demeanor.

Dartz pondered that for a moment, tapping a claw against his furry chin as he thought deeply. Sure they were annoying and for the most part incompetent but they could get the job done and save him hours of fruitless searching. "Fine but this is your last chance, and if you come back without them I will kill you. You are dismissed."

"Yes master Dartz! We won't disappoint you."

"Oh I'm sure you'll find away, now get moving." The two minions ran from the room leaving the king alone. '_I need to marry those boys by midnight tomorrow, before it's too late.' _

**Meanwhile in the dungeon-**

(A/N: WARNING: Nongraphic butt rape my children! If this makes you uncomfortable or creeps you out in any way then scroll down.)

Alister held his smirk as he unlocked the heavy wooden door; he pulled it open and glared down at the boy in chains. Joey's brown eyes were lifeless as if he had already given up hope, and who's to say he hadn't? Once you were captured by the mouse king it was very unlikely that you would ever be heard from again. Loose chains hung around his wrists and connected him to the wall, giving him limited movement but movement nonetheless.

His clothes were disorganized and torn, and small cuts and dark bruises marred his pale skin. He lifted his head to shoot his captor a weak glare, growling in distaste at the red-head's smug expression. "To what do I own the honor?"

"Silence mutt!" Alister raked his hand across Joey's cheek. "Master Dartz sent me down here to punish you for your husband's disobedience. I'm going to put that bastard Kaiba in his place and what better way than through the one thing he cares about most?" He tilted Joey's head up and crashed their lips together in a bruising kiss.

The blonde gasped in surprise and gagged when Alister's tongue was forced into his mouth. '_This is wrong! I'm married, so why is he kissing me?'_ He couldn't think of anything else so he simply bit down hard on the intruding muscle, earning him yet another harsh slap.

"You're going to pay for that." Alister's face lost all traces playfulness, his hands gripped Joey's white button shirt and ripped it open.

"W-what're you doin?" Joey whimpered as cold hands trailed down his chest resting at the hem of his jeans. He let out a cry as one of those hands was slid into his pants. "N-no stop it!"

Alister used his other hand to keep Joey's at bay as the blonde threw wild punches and squirmed beneath his touch. He smirked before leaning close to Joey's ear and huskily whispering. "I'm really excited to see the look on Kaiba's face when he finds out that someone other than himself had touched you this intimately. Oh but if you're scared now you should just wait a moment." Joey shivered as the red head's tongue slid across his ear.

**One rape scene later:**

Joey lay sobbing silently on the cold stone floor, he clutched his white shirt closer to his pale frame, his dead honey brown eyes were filled with tears that cascaded down his cheeks. His thighs were coated with blood and sperm and oh did his ass hurt. '_Why would Seto want me back now? I'm dirty; I was touched by a man that's not you. Seto where are you? Please, come and save me!' _So many thoughts fought for dominance in his mind that he had tuned out everything else.

Alister merely stood and straightened out his clothing and, sending one more glare at Joey; he quickly opened the door and slammed it shut. Joey flinched at the loud sound, curling into himself even more. There was no hope evident in his eyes; he had no hope even if Seto did come to save him, he had been tainted, hope was useless, it couldn't save him now.

-Epic cliff-hanger of epicness!-

Kurai-onii: Well that was a dark chapter…

Yami: You raped Joey, you psycho bitch!

Kurai-onii: I'm sorry!

Ryou: Review please!


	8. Author's Note

A/N: I know updates have been taking a while, but I've got the one thing that all authors dread. That's right; I'm suffering from writers block. Not only that, I've also been in a bad mood for the last couple days and since the last chapter was dark I want to make this one fluffy but the way my week is going I'd probably end up killing all the main characters. Hope you understand, I'll try to update when I can.

-Kurai


	9. I'm Back Baby!

Kurai-onii: *Holding Bakura wearing bunny ears* Plot bunnies are back!

Bakura: LET GO YOU BLOODY GIT!

Kurai-onii: I found out I always get writer's block as soon as a reach the climax of the story, which really sucks.

Yami: Where have you been?

Kurai-onii: Oh, right. Sorry for not updating anything for a while but I've been going through some things that I'd rather not discuss. Also I'm slowly falling out the Yu-Gi-Oh fandom. I'm more into Hetalia right now but I promise I'll still update, may just be a little slower.

-I don't own anything!-

"Well, there's the castle." Yami sighed as he took in the castle crumbling exterior. "It used to be beautiful like this land, just another thing Dartz took from me."

Bakura placed a hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry Pharaoh. We'll get it back really soon, and we get to beat up the rat while we do it."

"Maybe I'm becoming a sadist, but I think I'm looking forward to his death more than anything else." The tri-haired prince sneered at the mere thought of enjoying the pain inflicted on another human being. "Some prince I am."

Malik slapped him hard on the back. "That bastard destroyed our land, killed our king, and has been enslaving our people. I think your subjects will let it slide this one time."

"Yes we all want to kill that lousy son-of-a-bitch, but if we could hurry it along." Seto's eye twitched in anger. "My husband's in there and I'd like to get him back before Dartz tries anything."

"Yeah, Joey's in trouble!" Yugi exclaimed. "And the faster we defeat Dartz the faster we get to go home to our families." The three nutcrackers seemed to sadden at the mention of their counterparts leaving, but they clamped there wooden mouths shut and carried on towards the dark and dreary castle. The teens followed suit with Seto falling about ten paces behind everyone else.

Ryou tilted his head and whispered in Yugi's ear. "Is it just me or did they seem bummed when you talked about going home."

"Yeah I noticed it too!" Marik said just a little too loudly earing a collective 'shush' from his friends. "Sorry, but I don't understand. They knew we would be going home, I mean that's the whole point of coming here."

Yugi glanced at Yami thoughtfully. "Well, we're friends now, and I know for certain I'm going to miss them too."

"Yeah. Bakura may be a pervert but he's really sweet." Ryou's soft gaze moved to the back of Bakura's head. "Aw, now I feel really depressed."

"Me too." Marik groaned. "That guy's a moron, but he's a super sexy moron." Yugi and Ryou face palmed at their friend's description.

"Hey! Pick up the pace!" Seto barked and almost immediately the group picked up speed, finding themselves standing face to face with a pair of tall metal gates. "Okay, I can get in but what about the rest of you? You six are wanted."

"Easy, I came up with a plan."

…

Not long after they all stood with bonds on their wrists with the exception of Seto. "This is your brilliant idea?" Malik scoffed. "Handing us over to the fucker who messed up our lives?"

Yami rolled his eyes. "This is just a way to get in, Seto will let us go in the dungeons so he can go find Joey and we can go defeat Dartz." Malik's eyes widen in realization.

"Oh, that makes more sense." Marik giggled seductively, because heaven knows Marik cannot giggle cutely, at Malik's stupidity. "What's so damn funny?!"

"Nothing. You're just hot when you're being stupid."

"He's always stupid." Bakura cut in.

"Exactly."

**In the throne room-**

A guard ran into the throne room and stopped to kneel before Dartz. "M-my king! Priest Seto is at the gate, he brought six prisoners one of them being the Prince Yami." Dartz's eyes widen in surprise.

"I thought you said he knew we had his lover." His gaze flickered to Alister. "Why would he help us?"

"Probably to get him back. I wouldn't put it past Kaiba to betray his cousin." His eyes filled with disgust as if saying his name left an awful taste in his mouth. "I say we let him in and take him prisoner as well."

The mouse king pondered that thought for a moment. "That's not a bad idea. Let them in and lead them straight to the dungeon, when Seto turns his back on you take him down and lock him up with the others."

"Yes my lord." Alister turned to leave.

"Oh, and bring the humans to me. Unharmed and ready to be wed." The ginger nodded once and ran from the room. A smirk pulled a Dartz's furry little face. "The rest of you! Hurry to the court yard, collect as much wood as you can. I plan on having a large fire to commemorate my upcoming nuptials."

-The end-

Kurai-onii: CLIFF HANGER! So the boys are falling in love.

Ryou: D-Dartz isn't going to burn our y-yamis is he?

Kurai-onii: Well….

Yugi: Yami no! *Glomps Yami and bawls*

Kurai-onii: No, don't cry Yugi. You don't know what's going to happen. Please review; oh and please give me long and kind reviews because they give me encouragement to write.


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